At a loss for words..

Why did he have to make it happen again? it took me quite awhile to decide not to cry again.. yet he has to make me angry.. angry till i feel like killing someone..ii did try to forget the time when he knew i was sad.. when he was right there beside me.. yet he dint console me.. left me to play maple alone and yet havin the guts to get angry cos im talkin to someone..does he understand the meaning of living tgt as a couple? its not just about sharing bed.. its also about sharing thoughts.. understanding and caring for each other..yet he dint realised the fact that when i m stressed when im sad.. i need a quiet shoulder to lean on.. all he thinks is about himself.. when i cry all he does is press me for an answer.. keeps thinkin its him im blaming for my tears.. he just cant think.. cant think about the events that happened..there's just so many chances i gave to him but he dint cherish.. yet again and again i bow down to his tears to his apologies.. drowning myself in misery in agony...there isnt a perfect relationship.. but cant there be at least some love thats nt selfish..he claims that im treating him cold for a long time.. yes.. i did.. i admit it wasnt the same as b4 anymore.. alot has changed.. his attitude his lies.. his empty promises his negligence has made me love him lesser and lesser.. has he realised the reason? behind every quarrell there're words i said to make him realised that every time i cried there's a meaning.. every tears i dropped i've set my mind to somethings.. does he know? i doubt so..He's nt the first to rush to my aid.. nt the first to stop my tears.. i always remember how tt someone treasures my laughters my tears.. calls me his princess and treats me like his queen.. yet now im in someone elses arms regretting all the wrongs i did before.. trying to repent trying to change in someone elses love.. but wasnt in the least appreciated..so ironic..the longest to stay on in my heart eversince that someone.. yet failed to appreciate all that im doing and all that i have changed..i may nt be the perfect gf.. but to that someone i was his world.. loving me as long as he could.. forgiving me as many times as he could.. i swear i changed, i finally realised the importance of love and trust..now i just wished i could turn back time.. to be the princess i once was.. not an evil queen i now am..