EXHAUSTED.SAD.ANRGY

hmm has been some time since i last posted.. things havent been going well too.. gotta juggle with work and study.. have been absent from classes for 5 times ler.. if im absent another 3 times im gonna be barred from exams. omg. sounds so serious huh..but u think i wan it this way mehs.. wish i was a robot who wont break down.. sighs..Y some ppl just so lucky.. they dun have to shoulder the responsibilities of someone else.. and worse still tt someone is my mum.. she's not young anymore.. alot of health problems.. how i wished i was able enuff to make her enjoy this part of her life.. but i feel so useless whenever i need to ask her for money..i wished i had a choice not to.. cos i dun wan her to be feeding me at this age.. i wan to let her have an early retirement.. but i was useless last time.. dint take a good chance in my studies.. now i hope it isnt to0 late to work hard..my dad's gone to heaven .. my sis's never really around us anymore.. all she has is me.. ya and the only one she can blame is me for anything or everything.. so i just gotta put up with all her temperaments and nags about my dad and my sis..no one ever sits and listens to me, how i feel what i wanna do... all they did wad judge me in everyway..i dunno y tears never stop to flow whenever i talk about my family..Its just an emotional baggage i couldnt stop carrying with me..hopefully after my course i can finally work as a make up artist..since i lost my oppurtunity to be a singer.. i wanna fulfil my other dream as a make up artist..good luck to me~ anyway..im working with Yvs Saint Laurent at Takashimaya feel free to come visit me peeps=) well.. the colleagues.. their a bunch of bitchy chibyes.. =x only 1 girl is fine with me.. the rest i got some funny feeling tt they r EVIL.. lols.. and the fucking angry thing is tt manager asked me to wear at least 2and a half inches high heels! and we're talking bout standing long hours!!! kanina bloody bitch! this cannot wear tt cannot wear.. pcb.. make my legs ache like fuck.. color contacts oso cant wear...hair must bun up.. wad the hell la.. im not gonna stay in this brand..so wad if its branded and exclusive..they dun even hav a position as a make up artist..stay there means end of my dream! heng only 2 mths contract as a part timer..wahh the thought of having to wear the bloody black 3 quarter sleeves and long pants and the killer heels to school den to work is really killing me even in my sleeps! HELP~~~~~~~~~