xiiaoniuLOVES

2010-09-02T16:47:00.003+08:00

My heart felt so heavy. when darling moved his things back home. it felt like a breakup.. i dunno why. i probably just got too used to having him around me all the time. no matter how busy we were at least we came home to each other, but now.. im afraid we'll be seeing less of each other..and i wonder what will happen..

sad =

2010-09-02T16:47:00.001+08:00

what should i do

2010-08-30T11:27:00.002+08:00

Again, when i was upset i cried alone. and dried my own tears right in front of him. i totally dun understand the guy im living with, always only full of himself..nvr considered my thoughts, nvr try to console me.. how does one guy ever ignores the fact that his gf is upset and is crying and still continues to play his games and go to sleep even when his gf is outside feeling horrible? even when she says she's hungry he just asked her to make some bread. becos i rmb everytime he said he was hungry i will offer to eat out with him or cook something for him no matter wad i was doing and how tired i was.. and the worst thing was he says y must i always cry when he wants to sleep??? he gt angry when i ask him y he dint bother? he nvr knew how much he has hurt me and how much i have tolerated him these months.. i trusted him that he will take care of me, be there when i needed him, love me good and treats me like his princess. Thats y i made the choice to be with him instead.. but wad happen now? i cant even cry infront of him and i cant even have some hugs and console when everything isnt right.. i cant live like this.. i tried, i really tried my best to let him know his every mistakes that shud nt happen in a relationship.. i tried but to no avail becos he will always think he's right and he wont even apologise for hurting me..when did i ever hurt him? my world revolves around him.. just for him i can leave my frens alone..just for him i turn down any suitors.but wad did i get in return? his lousy attitude, his low tolerance level. i felt so uncared for whenever im down. he shared my laughters but not my tears.. he failed to do wad he has promised me.. i dunno how i can ever change that part of him.. a guy full of hate and anger and himself..i've nvr loved someone like this before. i dunno wad i should do.. to stay and wait for that 2 yrs he promised or to just leave to let him be with his career and himself and hopefully he finds a girl who doesnt care whether he cares anot..but everytime i thought of leaving, it hurts.. i will always worry who will cook for him when he's hungry, who will change his contact lens solutions for him, who will pack his clothes and wash his clothes for him, who will give him massage everytime he need it, who will be there for him no matter how tired, who will bathe with him everyday, who will suprise him with gifts every mth, who will always try to fetch him home?..who's gonna support his every decision, who can swallow their pride just for him?.. i dunno.. i supported him, but i was alone.. there wasnt any support i felt when i felt like collapsing and crying..

Hurts

2010-08-07T11:53:00.002+08:00

I couldnt make u understand can i? its not about the games u've been playing.. its not about the time issue. we all need our own time.. but its just that whenever u're on the game u're oblivious to whatever's happening to me until i start to bang things around.. u r too insensitive to my feelings.. and u always have to put the blame of me crying and us quarrelling on me being too emotional. im a girl.. i think thru my heart, i feel thru my heart..how would u feel if someday i dun evern care about u when u r crying? or when i neglected u for sometimes and i dun give a damn about this? how could this be called love when u cant be there to catch me when i fall ? love should be present in any situations.. y isit always absent when we r quarrelling? y do u have to look at me with those hateful eyes? what have i done wrong? i was faithful, i did my part as a gf.. i accompanied u no matter how tired i am.. i massaged u no matter how tired i am.. im always ready to console u to hold u to make u feel better in times of troubles.. i ahet to be left alone.. especially in the same room and when im crying or upset.. u just left me there and continued clicking away on ur laptop..u dun get the simple hint when i say is ur games more impt than me.. i'd expect u to come over and hold me.. not just hold me for awhile and when i keep quiet u just go str8 back to ur games.. it made me feel like shit.. u just keep comparing the things u've done for me.. i did question ur love for me.. because tt was how u made me feel..i know every single things u've done for me.. the flowers u've given me.. u'd always try to bring me to places where i like to go, u'll always bring me to eat thing i like to eat.. u'll come and fetch me thou u're tired..u'll take care of me when im sick, feed me medicine..there's only one thing u cant do... and tt is controlling ur temper..previously whenever we quarrelled.. u will shout at me..i hate guys shouting at me.. nvr had a bf who shouts at me..u cant control ur attitude towards everything..u cant show me love or hold me when u're not happy..u need me to initiate so many so many things that it made me feel like im forcing u to love me to care to hold me..it may sound ridiculous to u.. but this is the ideal love that everyone search for.. not just in times of happiness, but also in times of anger and sadness.. as long as the one we love is hurt or crying.. our heartaches as well.. we wont bother bout anything else except to hold and comfort each other after a big fight..not to walk away, not to ignore, not to roll our eyes and stand far away as if we're enemies, not to write down on a piece of paper and ask me to write down the points of this quarrell.. im not a customer. we r not handling a contract here.. we're handling a life, two lives, two hearts..i wished i could stop crying last night, but i couldnt stop.. its too painful to see that u dun care for me at all.. evern when im right beside u crying my eyes out and my knuckles are blistered and bleeding i had to put the plaster on my own.. how much it hurts.. i'll never forget this night..it felt worst than the time u hit me.. at least u still tried to hold me and apologised.. but for now everything i voice out, be it ur wrong or my wrong.. all u did was get pissed off and say tt im emotional..i know u're tired.. u're working.. im tired too.. im working as well..i have to handle alot of stress.. not only sales, not only skills, not only money, not only how to operate a shop, i still have to fulfill the expectations of linda and my boss.. every little wrong thing i do will be penalised..all i want is to be happy with u.. and have u ard me in times of sadness or anger..is tt too much to ask for?

Back In Reality

2010-07-28T09:52:00.002+08:00

Its been ages since i last updated my blog!
Many things have changed, totally stopped contacting H.
He's a total pussy.Well, life has been quite nice after i've gotten Joel..
i love him, tts the most important thing. Eversince he came into my life
i let go totally of all my past.. including K and H..K's my good friend now.
Though joel's temper's as horrible as mine, i have learnt to give and take
i controlled mine temper, he hasnt seen me at my worst.thanks god for tt.
His attitude sucks to the max, its just took me some mths to get used to it
Still. i really hate it when he speaks in monotone or just some fucked up tone.
In the beginning, everything has to be so spelled out. It doesnt feel like love at all
its like we are following a contract. We have to tell each other what to do and what not to do, what we hate, no guessing, no mutual understanding at all.
Im glad nw just got better. At least for nw when he throws his temper im cool.
i can say we are damn extreme, we can be super sweet, and even the slightest thing could make us seem like enemies. Honestly i hate this kinda feelings in a r/s.
There was so many times i felt like giving up on us.. The time when he hit me. i forgave him, ask me why?.. i dunno..Maybe it was my fault.i fed him those pills.
i dint know how he'd react, he wasnt strong willed enough to control it.
It pains me even more when he said i was the first girl he ever hit,It made me feel like shit.He wanted to leave. but i held on.. i felt stupid. but i just did..i keep believing he could be the one for me.. one i can learn frm and learn nt to be like him..i was too overbearing in the past.. nw is my turn to learn how to respect each other as a couple..I know at times he was rather rude to my mum, i was angry.. but i just forget it.. if we're meant to be.. we will be.. if everything goes wrong and i feel it isnt right.. i will end it myself..i know Bong has been encouraging me to end it eversince the day he hit me.. yes he was super selfish. he cared for no one except himself. everything he does is full of himself.this is him, its nvr gonna change..no excuse tt he's the only child.Bong is also one..No doubt he needs to learn to be considerate and not be so selfish..every little actions and events tts happens between the both of us, i took it to heart.. i rmb every details.. it all builds up to conclusions..Im keeping these to myself..i dun wan him to feel like shit..
Nobody's perfect, if i can change for my love.. i believe he can too. no matter who looks down on him, i will support him.. i will be there to catch him when he falls and bring him right back to his feet again..Tts the least i can do for my love..
i wished he can be there for me always too..its always dependant on his mood..
many times i cried alone, with no embrace no care and no console..just so cold..
i wished all tts bad about will change in time.. im waiting..

Gradually Falling Apart

2010-03-20T15:24:00.003+08:00

i wasnt made to be perfect, but at least i learnt from so many previous failures that now im a better person for everything..The past was a learning experience, i pulled thru so much just to get better each day.. yet there are some ppl who pulls me down and made me feel worse..so much about understanding and not knowing each other well.. What has it gotta do with my past?? your past?? if past matters so much to the person loving you, then whats love for anyway? its to live, to love, to forgive and to forget. Why in a relationship ppl tend to use the terms I and YOU more often then WE, US, OUR.. its the togetherness that keeps love alive, but yet its forgotten..i wasnt once selfish in this r/s.. and i will never be unless i see the need to.. i admit i was selfish, self centered, unreasonable, bad tempered in my past r/s..but all that has changed, im a changed person.. and i couldnt even believe how calm i was when we quarrelled..everytime i wanted to flare up, i thought about his feelings, how will he react if i reacted the same way i did years ago..it would be throwing of chairs and tables, punching whatever i can find, kicking dustbins and smashing things ard and even hurling all sorts of words towards him.. i dint.. i kept my cool even thou how much it hurts..and i really wonder who knows the changes i've made. it seems ppl only notices my flaws..but nt my improvements.

2009-12-25T23:44:00.002+08:00

23rd december! st james Power house.. celebrating sheena's Bday,, had an enjoyable night despite the fight...

2009-12-22T00:42:00.002+08:00

i cant seem to let my heart settle down. Why is it so .. i dun wanna be unfaithful at all.. it seems i have returned to my old ways...im still lying and neglecting my R/S.. i wanna change for someone but it seems so hard to ..i wanna have everything without having to let go of even one..im being greedy but yet i cant stop.. hopefully someone can make the change in me..

photos

2009-12-18T23:10:00.004+08:00

What can i say?

2009-12-18T22:42:00.003+08:00

Baoyun and me at toot's Bday

Toot Shirley Xiiaoniu

Bong Xiiaoniu

Shirley Xiiaoniu

oh well.. just another year end is approaching. Having lost the most impt person in my life just years ago.. i kinda got numb to all the goodbyes from ppl in my life..Boys, they just come and go. yet none could leave a deep impression so much that i couldnt live without him..i could sense his hesitance to change to be with me.. yet i held on.. knowing i might make a change in his life again..Getting into fights isnt what his parents made him out to be, but thats just what he might have felt happy with..besides, there's no more ME to be by him giving him words of advises and reprimands..Looking back, i cant stop thinking, if me and K were still together i bet we've already been loving for 5 years..silly mistake of mine 2 years ago caused so much misery to the both of us..And negligence of H's caused us misery again. why cant human stop erring and just be contented and learn to cherish their loved ones before its too late? If we're still happily together. we might've ROMed.. and who knows few years down the road when our career's on the right path we would've been married with kids.. All the ifs seems so silly now..

Nevertheless. another chapter of life starts.. J steps into my life.. my materialistic life.. all i thought of was money money and money..i did make sacrifices for him.. and i believe so did he..we were such different couples.. we each led our own live loving each other and meeting only when we could find the time to..we kept very much to ourselves unlike those loving couples who whispers sweet nothings to each other or throw ourselves with hugs and kisses..considered we are very realistic couple..J's got his own group of friends and i had mine..so much freedom it feels so distant and far..His sweetness are hardly shown but in his heart i know..Sadly to say my bf's a block of wood.. he doesnt know how to express his love well.. much less his affections..i guess this is the time i should really try to get used to not being pampered like a lil princess..

Been really really tired working and working these recent months.. havent been able to take a good rest since i started with benefit.. been OTing everyday till my health complains. Down with gastricitis recently due to stress and overwork.. Plus my night job at the MASKA, im really ready to collapse anytime soon..it really sucks to be independant.. Mum's relying on me for house utility bills and phone bills..damn..wished i could do with some help out there..

Disheartend..

2009-09-15T00:11:00.002+08:00

I guess i gotta give us up.. we just aint meant to be.. too immature.. i cant take those nonsense and irrelevant reasons ..boy grow up.. i dun think u even know how to love me right.. u dun even treat me as ur gf.. throw me to cross the road alone.. wake me up by hitting my feet.. all u do is threaten.. all those little little things tt may seem insignificant to u, i take it to heart .. everythings u did to show wad's my worth to u has made me reach the verdict even earlier den expected.. so many times of quarrellin dint enlighten u.. means tts the way u r.. and its nt gonna change forever.. i leaving this behind me.. a past chapter of my life.. i wont quarrell with u anymore.. i will just keep quiet and take my leave slowly.. cos arguing doesnt help.. all u will say is im blaming u.. now just take it as its just my problem.. im tired of it... ur impatience ... i hate it..

Happy As Can Be

2009-09-12T21:52:00.002+08:00

Everyday im enjoyin my day at work.. Just doing everything i can to fulfill my duties at work .. having fun with all my colleagues.. never once imagined i could actually enjoy work this much..Now im a certified brow artist.. well.. gotta be moving to sephora ION soon with our cute lil mandy.. hopefully sales there would be good too..

Wonderful Day

2009-08-15T00:15:00.004+08:00

Benefit~

Ooh Red Lippies

Im wild! cant u see?

Jenny and Me

Me at paragon La Senza Event

o.o

POSIE TINT

SMOKIN EYES

Brow Artist At work =)

She got huge eyes~

My Lil makeshift benefit counter

Well!!! all i can say is I LOVE BENEFIT! they have the coolest make up and the nicest staffs there..learnt alot since my first day on 20th july... trainin to be a professional brow and make up artist is interesting.. im never dragging myself to work everyday like before..oh and u guys must be wondering why i went missing for so long.. my lappy kinda crashed.got infected by trojan virus.. fuck that horsey virus...luckily bong managed to reformat and save it for me..alright time for bed.. =)

=D

2009-07-19T22:22:00.003+08:00

Wee ~ im starting work tmr at benefit as a brow artist! yay.. finally im working.. hurhurs.. wasted so much time lazing around at home waitin for that stupid bobbi brown..

2009-07-09T18:58:00.005+08:00

CB bong de stupid finger spoil my pic

The ratty cow and the stupid bong

At white sands mac =x

Bong calls me ratty cow

Bong trying to act DRAWER =x

The ratty cow with the Irritating Bong

Yet another quarrell.. oh man.. give me a break god..

at least i still have my irritatiin bong bong to make me happy and to accompany me..

At a loss for words..

2009-07-06T16:29:00.002+08:00

Why did he have to make it happen again? it took me quite awhile to decide not to cry again.. yet he has to make me angry.. angry till i feel like killing someone..ii did try to forget the time when he knew i was sad.. when he was right there beside me.. yet he dint console me.. left me to play maple alone and yet havin the guts to get angry cos im talkin to someone..does he understand the meaning of living tgt as a couple? its not just about sharing bed.. its also about sharing thoughts.. understanding and caring for each other..yet he dint realised the fact that when i m stressed when im sad.. i need a quiet shoulder to lean on.. all he thinks is about himself.. when i cry all he does is press me for an answer.. keeps thinkin its him im blaming for my tears.. he just cant think.. cant think about the events that happened..there's just so many chances i gave to him but he dint cherish.. yet again and again i bow down to his tears to his apologies.. drowning myself in misery in agony...there isnt a perfect relationship.. but cant there be at least some love thats nt selfish..he claims that im treating him cold for a long time.. yes.. i did.. i admit it wasnt the same as b4 anymore.. alot has changed.. his attitude his lies.. his empty promises his negligence has made me love him lesser and lesser.. has he realised the reason? behind every quarrell there're words i said to make him realised that every time i cried there's a meaning.. every tears i dropped i've set my mind to somethings.. does he know? i doubt so..He's nt the first to rush to my aid.. nt the first to stop my tears.. i always remember how tt someone treasures my laughters my tears.. calls me his princess and treats me like his queen.. yet now im in someone elses arms regretting all the wrongs i did before.. trying to repent trying to change in someone elses love.. but wasnt in the least appreciated..so ironic..the longest to stay on in my heart eversince that someone.. yet failed to appreciate all that im doing and all that i have changed..i may nt be the perfect gf.. but to that someone i was his world.. loving me as long as he could.. forgiving me as many times as he could.. i swear i changed, i finally realised the importance of love and trust..now i just wished i could turn back time.. to be the princess i once was.. not an evil queen i now am..

=( when will i return to the place i belong to?

2009-07-05T00:14:00.005+08:00

my adorable rainbow~

Lazing on bed.. >.<

my minnie mouse ribbon =)

Nerdy moo =p

BOring BOring~

such a boring saturday ~ mummy was admitted into hospital 3 days ago.. colon diverticulosis=.=.. so rare yet she got it.. infected colon.. poor mummy.. miss having her around at hme..Hais.. now all the housework i have to do.. kns.. lols.. now everyday i just have to go hospital visit her.. haven got a job yet.. went for shu uemura's interview the day b4.. doesnt seems successful to me.. was told my hair color too light.. fringe too messy.. rings too many.. necklace too fanciful.. nails too fanciful... bloody hell... wonder y they call it make up ARTIST... wen ppl trying to hide the artistic side of themselves... arghhs.. shit them.. hope my tries for other companies will be successful..someone's birthday is reachin.. and i dun even know how to celebrate.. wad a lousy gf i am.. damn...

Yummy MA La steamboat

2009-06-24T01:16:00.005+08:00

SEE!!! MY CAREBEAR! BONG N TOOT BUY FOR ME DE!!! OMG!

yay my birthday week is finally over.. so sad.. hahas.. those who gave me most presents r bong n toot.. they bought me a E63 handphone, they accompanied me at my bbq.. thou none of my bros came except my dear devin haha.. iwas quite jam and happy la.. celebrated with janice tgt too.. so fun all of us.. rode our bicycles and yes.. almost fell down too... today we went to meet potato and sara with hao n bong to eat ma la huo guo.. wahh power str8 after eating me hao n bong went to lao sai.. its all oil lor..but nice la.. haha ty bong for treating me.. hehe.. okies above r some photos taken wen toot brought me to do my pedicure and manicure at wax in the city before my birthday.. yippiees.. its stil nice til now lor..

Its enuff!

2009-06-21T03:52:00.003+08:00

Seriously had enuff of all the rubbish u can give me... always making me believe and wait for nothing.. makes me feel like a fool.. this will be the last tym im going to shed any tear for someone... fcking worthless.. after so many chances so many of my tears wasted.. yet nothing has changed..forget it.. im not wasting my time any further.. how useless can one person get .. even to his loved one?.. i really wonder...it just happened earlier on.. and wen i soften down n gave another chance.. it happened again.. wth...

YSL ROSE, RACHEL, OLIVE! SEE ME ON STREET BE CAREFUL

2009-06-16T20:04:00.002+08:00

NABEH .... i fuckin long dint feel so angry liao.. bloody hell went thru the whole fuckin interview with Bobbi brown and waitin for my training.. Yet those bitches at YSL commented so badly on me.. wad the fuck i did to them? despite my bad tempers my bad attitudes and my tattoos.. i have never protrayed any signs of gangsterism on them.. Yet! Jasmine from bobbi brown was told i had sooooo much tattoos tt even my clothes cant hide.. and i have alot of weird frens visiting the counters everytime???? wad the fuck la... wad everytime?? i was told once nt to hav frens visiting the counters.. AND I DID STOPPED! wad fuckin everytime sia.. kanina... their mouths ought to be taught a lesson! COME ON girls!!! THOSE WHO R UNHAPPY WITH YSL PLEASE GO TO TAKASHIMAYA YSL COUNTER! FUCK TT ROSE! BLOODY UGLY MACIK! please make sure u guys complain about how bad their service is.. god damn it.... i kept my tempers down to all their nonsense.. and helped them in as many way as i can.. and yet this is wad i got from them...Since they think im one cao ah lian rite.. nvm.. now i will show them....

ii see no future

2009-06-14T23:54:00.002+08:00

Do u know how sick i was? no i dun tink he does.. he tot it was jus normal fever.. but im not feeling pain? somehow i duno how to feel.. it seems he's taking me for granted? or i actually need more than wad he can give me? i guess he cant give me wad i need.. yet someone out there will always give it to me.. no matter wad happens.. they'll never leave me in the lurch.. shower me with much care and concerns.. now even when i see him.. i dun feel anything.. i just feel wasted.. i dunno how to describe.. but those 8 mths tgt seems like its just for living the days... i wan someone who gives me a future i look forward to.. nt someone who makes me fear our future.. i duno how its gonna turn out to be for me n him next time.. now even my mum thinks tt he's useless.. often forgetting the things he promised to give me or her..change? i dun think so.. i've seen ppl who really changed for me.. but i cant see this time.. i duno how to talk to him.. cos i know he's only gonna misunderstand me further... really at a lost to wad i can do... y cant i have a happy birthday?

Feeling sick...

2009-06-14T04:06:00.002+08:00

damn been sick for days.. dun seem to be recovering..physically sick plus mentally sick..There r times i really wished to be alone.. wonder if anyone understands.. im someone who loves privacy.. doesnt means im someone who cheats tts y i wan privacy.. but it all boils down to one word *TRUST*.. how's the feeling like doing ur things and there is always a pair of eyes staring n watching ur every moves and everything u say? certainly i dun like tt feeling.. its kinda annoying.. be it ur loved one or ur fren.. all of us human deserves some decent privacy to ourself..there's just so much for u to understand me.. love aint all about promises but also how well u could keep urs.. i've been listening to ur promises ur swears.. yet its been repeatedly disappointing.. still i chose to believe..till this point.. im feeling kinda numb.. with u or without u.. doesnt make much of a difference anymore.. sometimes i feel u care too much.. yet sometimes i feel u dun even care.. Often hurting in various ways u dint realised. til the day i blew up den u know..RMB this guys.. girls takes note of the tiniest detail in a relationship and keeps them deep in their heart.. weighing the pros and cons and finally making a decision.. its nt a one time thing.. even when u forget to take water to me when i coughing like im dying.. i rmb.. even when u dint come back str8 when u know i wanted u to.. i rmb.. all kept in my heart.. and now im finally weighing...

Dunno how to feel?

2009-06-10T00:44:00.002+08:00

Its just so tiring .. i duno y.. my daily routine? my love life?.. i duno.. its been so long since anyone else stepped into my life and bring me the smiles and laughters i always nvr failed to experience... but 8 mths ago.. it seems to have stopped... those surprises.. those happiness.. everything has somehow changed.. wad had been promised was broken again and again.. how much more tolerant can i be? somethings i know was hidden from me in fear i'll get angry... but hey.. i know wad u're doing n thinkin.. im a girl and i have strong intuitions u'd nvr imagined.. Feeling like a caged bird and someone who's just been sent down to life live and finish life.. its like a duty... coming hm to slp.. the need to think for someone. the need to entertain.. to care to listen and to understand.. den to work... no friends other den bong n toot.. no brothers which i can even tok to and confide to... wad else is left in life for me to do? r all relationships gonna end up this way? now these 2 days without him ard.. im like gettin used to being alone again... im sick of everything..

sooooo sadddddd

2009-06-08T05:01:00.002+08:00

aww fck... i got suspended from maple for 3days... use illegal program... kanina..... oredi lvl 120 liaos.... oredi kill the griffy and the manor liao..... GOING TO PRESS THE FCKING 4th JOB INSTRUCTOR TO BE A BISHOP!!!!!! den tio suspend!!!! fcking maple...hais... sian ahhhhhhhhhh............duno wad im gonna do for these 3 days.. wasted my twin coupon and my double exp.... ccb..si beh suay!!!!

MY NEXT TARGETS!!!!

2009-06-07T18:38:00.003+08:00

i wanna get this onmy thigh!!!

This i wan on my tummy!!!

And this? on my left arm! wakakaka

2mths later ahjarn perm will be back! cant wait!

Sak Yants

2009-06-06T16:18:00.002+08:00

2009-06-03T02:14:00.002+08:00

photos of this month!

2009-05-22T01:20:00.004+08:00

Not satisfied!!!

2009-05-09T00:41:00.002+08:00

A piece of my eyelashes =x

Baby's face cramp?

hmm was supposed to only rebond my roots area today.. instructed them nt to touch my ends.. but still my ends were touched.. and now there's so many split ends and its so flat! argh! but wad to expect.. its done by my fren and he only charged me $50.. oh well..might as well just shut up and complain when i reach hme .. till now im still thinkin shud i dye my hair medium blonde or shud i just dye it super black.. cos i can carry black hair well.. and super blondes too.. but im afraid my job at YSl doesnt allow outrageous colors.. fuck it..im planning to try to resign soon.. and find myself another job to secure into till i get enough experiences to join MAC or BobbiBrown.. Tmr's vesak day.. and im gonna visit the ahcharn, hopefully he can tell wads wrong with my little bee bee..Baby's out with weelong.. so im gonna get some rest now, mhy eyes r sore and teary from that stupid expired contacts.. alrites ciaoz~

Happy 7th Months Baby!!!

2009-05-01T01:48:00.004+08:00

Bong's newly adopted kuman~ manman

My Baby Kuman~~ bee bee

My new kumanee~ nee nee

My Pakawan.. best guardian angel

baby hao's kuman

My hanuman~ my good protector

Above R some of my collections

whooos so fast man.. its been 7 mths ler lor.. and we r now enjoying our fav things.. haha.. Baby, me, bong, leonard and jian rui at my hme..hmm today my stomach cramp til wanna die lor.. and i cant feel my baby ler.. dunno wad happened.. hais.. nvm hope the arjahn can help me..

BABY KUMAN!!! i love euu baby =) and u Baby boii

2009-04-27T00:02:00.003+08:00

Me and my baby kumantong =)

bOng likes this pic

SEE MY SMOKE! wakakaa

Bong says this is seductive! woohoo lols

dunno y i looked so angry haha~

Weets went to bugis for the seisha i tink is spelled like this? lols,..,its fun la.. i tink i went on the friday ? or thurs? okie i forgot.. haha we went after school with sara, vanessa, samantha and tata.. yay my memory is super good la^^ haha they are all couples yupps.. cute lesbie couples.. and im the only straight cos bong oso is a butch.. well we all hit it off real well so no worries its an enjoyable day thou there were some hiccups in the morning.. yupps.. quarrelled with my baby boi.. but its over ler forgive and forget.. sorry if i scared alll u guys in class ya.. hehe tts my temper.. tok about temper.. arghh i suddenly rmb the bloody indian uncle at the 7 eleven at my sch.. so rude to the staffs there.. she's jus a new girl and she accidentally gave him wrong changes he stood there and verbarlly abused her for around half an hour.. i waited for 10mins in the Q and i cant take it liao.. started to pick a quarrell with the uncle.. but fancy him backing off.. haha maybe my aura too fierce ler.. lucky to have my pakawan with me.. haas..anyways glad tt sara found the thai god tt can help her the way she wants.. and her kumantong back to her side.. dint know i will get one myself.. but i just couldnt resist baby.. he's so cute looking smiling at me all the way.. now i cant leave hme without him.. he's just like my own child.. ytd nite wen i went to the toilet he called me twice.. i was flushing den i hear ''mama, mama'' i was scared out of my wits i ran inside my room and jumped on my bf.. lols.. but i tink he knows i love him tts y he came to tok to me.. hopefully i will be less afraid of him.. he really helped alot.. i ask him to let my bf and leonard win their soccers and voila they won 4k ! woohoo!!! den b4 i go to work today i ask him to let my colleagues and customers like me more.. and to improve my sales.. and it really happened.. to day the usually black faced sister rose tok so nicely to me.. and gave me a YSL pouch and rachel the manage tok so frenly and openly with me too.. my sales went up too.. it was usually only $400 plus for the past few days.. but today was almost $800.. man.. i really love my baby to bits.. kept buying toys and candies for him.. hope he loves me too.. hees.. alrites enuff of thses long winded toks.. im off to sleep^^ hope he plays his toy car and the MP3 tonite =) ciaoz~

FUCKed Up DAY

2009-04-24T00:26:00.006+08:00

WOW really look like i attempted suicide thanks to cindy =.=
imagine i dint wash off and went to work, so many ppl
stared at me lor!!! poor me..

Done by ME =)

The gaping wound done by me on cindy=)

An abrasion done on cindy

Cut on cindy's wrist done by me

Cut on my hand done by myself

Bruises on my knuckles done by myself

A cut done on my wrist by cindy

Me and Sara~suppose to be darth vardar
but she looks cute instead? lols =x

she looks like she's wearing a tudung .. haha a malay darth vadar =x

Good day at school, good day at work... but bad day after work at hme.. fcuking attitude..faced fucked up attitudes at work and at hme i have to face another type.. chibye.. guys shud learn how to be considerate instead of always thinkin bout themselves.. over sensitivity, over reactive, and some bloody communication break downs spoils the whole relationship..damn..my feelings wont ever fade.. but who knows wad wil happen if the behavior is continued and worsened? i dun wanna think about it.. so coupped up with my sch my job and him.. there seems to be nth else in my life.. im starting to feel miserable for myself..alrites enuff of these emo things.. Oh well... wadever happened today i'll just erase it from my mind.. love is to forgive and forget...

EXHAUSTED.SAD.ANRGY

2009-04-21T21:23:00.002+08:00

hmm has been some time since i last posted.. things havent been going well too.. gotta juggle with work and study.. have been absent from classes for 5 times ler.. if im absent another 3 times im gonna be barred from exams. omg. sounds so serious huh..but u think i wan it this way mehs.. wish i was a robot who wont break down.. sighs..Y some ppl just so lucky.. they dun have to shoulder the responsibilities of someone else.. and worse still tt someone is my mum.. she's not young anymore.. alot of health problems.. how i wished i was able enuff to make her enjoy this part of her life.. but i feel so useless whenever i need to ask her for money..i wished i had a choice not to.. cos i dun wan her to be feeding me at this age.. i wan to let her have an early retirement.. but i was useless last time.. dint take a good chance in my studies.. now i hope it isnt to0 late to work hard..my dad's gone to heaven .. my sis's never really around us anymore.. all she has is me.. ya and the only one she can blame is me for anything or everything.. so i just gotta put up with all her temperaments and nags about my dad and my sis..no one ever sits and listens to me, how i feel what i wanna do... all they did wad judge me in everyway..i dunno y tears never stop to flow whenever i talk about my family..Its just an emotional baggage i couldnt stop carrying with me..hopefully after my course i can finally work as a make up artist..since i lost my oppurtunity to be a singer.. i wanna fulfil my other dream as a make up artist..good luck to me~ anyway..im working with Yvs Saint Laurent at Takashimaya feel free to come visit me peeps=) well.. the colleagues.. their a bunch of bitchy chibyes.. =x only 1 girl is fine with me.. the rest i got some funny feeling tt they r EVIL.. lols.. and the fucking angry thing is tt manager asked me to wear at least 2and a half inches high heels! and we're talking bout standing long hours!!! kanina bloody bitch! this cannot wear tt cannot wear.. pcb.. make my legs ache like fuck.. color contacts oso cant wear...hair must bun up.. wad the hell la.. im not gonna stay in this brand..so wad if its branded and exclusive..they dun even hav a position as a make up artist..stay there means end of my dream! heng only 2 mths contract as a part timer..wahh the thought of having to wear the bloody black 3 quarter sleeves and long pants and the killer heels to school den to work is really killing me even in my sleeps! HELP~~~~~~~~~

PHOTOS~

2009-04-21T21:02:00.003+08:00

sick sick sick~

2009-04-15T13:57:00.002+08:00

Dislikes promises to be broken.

Giddy Giddy Giddy is all i felt from ytd till today.. wad happen to me?

wish i could just sleep forever..cos thats the only time i can really live my dreams.
Dreams and reality their such a big difference..
Things i wished for in reality might nvr come true.. feelings and people i wished to be return to my side will never be able to come true..All i can do now is just to live on with whatever i have and treasure before i lose them again..

WOOOS~

2009-04-13T03:18:00.007+08:00

Cam Whore?
Trying to pose =.=
i seldom smile so sweetly =)
14 yrs of frenship and still counting <3

wish i could put on more weight
My backview~ taken by ah bong =) nice shot man.. so natural
Me and my precious baby boy =)
Look at my sexy toot baobei with make up ~ wee wooo weeet!
alamak take photo nvr tell me again..

Our relationship will never end..
cos we love each other

wow, i feel like im a robot... i dint sleep for 24 hrs now.. lols.. and tmr i gotta go to school.. those r shit man.. but i love it..today finally can go out with my baobeis ah toot and bong! we took alot of photos tgt! hehes.. ,made up for ah toot today.. so sexy and pretty! she actually looks good in fake lashes.. hopefully she can master the skills of proper make up! i'll of cos make sure i help her in everyway tt i can =)

An Angry Day

2009-04-08T23:03:00.003+08:00

Cindy & me

i used browns and coral colors

On my way to school with Bong

Wahh.. today damn tired la.. dint sleep the last nite.. den some idiots still give me problems..Today is the first time i complete the bloody make up the slowest! fuck.. no cooperation from her at all.. ask her dun move she still keep moving.. how the hell im supposed to draw on her eyes! keep making blunders and keep wiping and redoing.. omg.. and still dare to give me a face like its my fault.. cheebye..AND SERIOUSLY I DUN FIND A FUCKING PROBLEM WITH HER MAKE UP! cos i made it kinda foolproof.. actually today's the 1980s a more natural make up finish.. intended to add dark browns and bronze for her... but i changed my mind.. i rather clean up a lighter color den a darker color! i guess those who paired with her b4 shud be able to sense my annoyance when im doing her make up..=.= Anyway i went for my beauty advisor interview today at raffles city yves saint laurent.. she told me to get ready for a second interview.. but im still unsure if this is the brand i wanna work with for long.. now there's anna sui, shu uemura, bobbi brown, estee lauder and M.A.C hiring and i'll be going for all the interviews.. shit.. i hope i can get in to either M.A.C, Estee or Shu Uemura.. cos all along these are the few brands i like most..

what we did in class today =) 1970s CAT EYES

2009-04-07T23:37:00.004+08:00

looks fun rite? but omg i look like some chao ah lian.. lols

one side of my eyes was done by lily our teacher den lyn continued with the other.. she did it very well.. it really looked like it was done by the same person.. so even haha!

We're just having fun with my new palettes

2009-04-07T23:24:00.002+08:00

My very own creation.. lols so funny

look at our faces and u'll feel like slapping us =x

who stole the chef's ingredients? she looks angry!

Pringles new models =x

Arent we pretty? yes i know we r.. muahahaha

MY bEAuTIFUL mAke UP! done by BONG

KISS ME!

Rainy Rainy day

2009-04-06T20:02:00.005+08:00

Today we did the 1960s make up.. the twiggy look=) this my cute model mummy lyn =) took many many photos today! hahas

=)

2009-04-06T05:30:00.003+08:00

Making up in progress

Ms potato , mr potato and me! the snake demon =(

The 1930s look =)

here's a snapshot of us june, me and sara

woots cant get to sleep.. and yes! i finally got more photos of my classmates.. gonna show it to u guys=) their such fun ppl which made me look forward to school everyday!

BooS~

2009-04-06T00:42:00.002+08:00

Quite a normal day today.. was woken up by my mum and my aunt in the morning for the fixing of my room light.. just bought a new light.. finally have a light without balas.. it costs a bomb lor! so fucking ex nvm.. keep spoiling.. one day i was like making up halfway den POP den got smoke..it really scared the lights outta me..hahas..well.. lucky it dint explode! fcuking contractor.. chibye.. make everything in my hse so prone to danger..toilet pipe oso dint do properly..grrr..ooo tmr's my turn to be artist ler! yes la! hehe.. im partnering lynn our fierce fierce mummy^^.. haha her skin color is quite a challenge cos i haven tried on dark skin tones be4.. so tmr's my chance to try.. yupps.. im hoping to try on eric too.. our only boy in class.. and yes.. he's sissy.. =x oops.. no offence but he's a nice guy too la.. hahas..hopefully i can get alot alot of pics tmr hehe.. alrights.. i shall stop here.. * baby i know u will oways read my blog, i love you =) muacks! *

SO PAIN!!!

2009-04-03T22:20:00.007+08:00

haha i look like some chinese bitch =x

sobs.. whole day im suffering from menstrual cramp.. nabehhh.. how i hate to be a girl.. ohh btw todays our marilyn monroe make up! so fun hahas..

thanks vanessa miss potato for taking these photos for me ^^.. make up oso is done by her ohh!

i duno wads up with this pic.. stupid miss potato must have taken it without me knowing.. lols

Happy 6th mth Baby!

2009-04-01T20:47:00.005+08:00

my horrigible vegetable demonic lookin make up! done by sweetie sara=)

cindy and me.. she dun look as funny as me! =(

woo! today is the 6th mth anni of us tgt.. there's stil a long way more to go.. hahas..today he picked me from sch and brought me to sakae sushi for my fav mekajiki sashimi..lucky i found time to blog after washing my toilet.its a fun day in sch today too.. all of us had fun in class, we were doing the 1930s looks.. and mine was a disaster as wad vanessa described its a 1930's look gone wrong.. lols..in the end i look like some snake demon..the rest looked like mr and mrs potato.hahas.. the eyebrows and the lips looks so mismatched..tmr's the 1940s! and im the artist wahahas! gonna take lotsa photos!

More Pics!

2009-03-31T00:24:00.004+08:00

This is my look today.. hahas.. was rushing for work so gotta redo my black and white photo shoot make up..

ISNT SHE PRETTY? hahas this is my baobei ah bong.. looking good with bright yellow and red eyeshadow// added glitter for her too =)

Love my eyebrows today.. i can draw it amazingly better den when im at home.. lols.. maybe its the classroom =)

My first try for red lipsticks.. dint look too bad in it too ya? =) cant wait for our fashion make up .. the marilyn monroe look! RED LIPS!!

SoOo Exhausted!

2009-03-30T23:53:00.010+08:00

The above is actually my evening bridal look done by peiwen below hahas! my eyes look like disco eyes .. =x but overall i like.. =)

boohoos.. finally im able to blog.. well.. everyday seems like a planned out routine for me... first in the morning i get up for school at 8am.. den leave sch for work at 2pm and end work at 9.30pm.. This is my first time studying and working at the same time.. and its fucking tiring.. but for my future's sake of cos MUST BIA lols.. hmm okies now i'll try to upload some pics !

<=here's a pic of my cute model peiwen! she's my partner for the day and evening bridal make up.. haha.. did the deep set eyes in grey and black for her.. shaved her eyebrows for her too..

WoOO!

2009-03-22T23:01:00.000+08:00

Today is sunday..a bloody sunny day.. jus stayed home and rest with baby^^.
Finally my blog is up and ready to be viewed! haha who says xiaoniu cant do it!
Now the stupid bong cant luff at me ler.. ii cant wait to go to school tmr! its eyebrow tweezing lessons! will upload more photos concerning my make up lessons! okies time to sleep!

LaLaLa~~

2009-03-22T02:07:00.000+08:00

OMG , finally im done with all the stupid editings.. im a computer idiot.. well at least i came this far myself^^ hahas.. okies.. gotta go retire for the nite and catch some beauty sleep! This is my first post! and ya its my shortest=/